Nida | FF8 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skyward_eyes) wrote2013-10-26 03:33 pm
skyward_eyes) wrote2013-10-26 03:33 pm
Morning of the Wedding
He was shaking.
Nida had been shaking ever since he'd awoken that morning. After all the life he'd lived, all the things he'd done, everything he'd been through... Nothing really quite compared to this. Everything before had been, at most, a life or death matter. This? This was just a life thing. A chance at happiness. Full happiness.
Wherever you are out there, are you happy for me?
It was a thought that had come to him when he had awoken alone that morning. It was sent out into the universe as he thought about the brothers and sister he couldn't remember, the parents he hadn't known, and of course the man he had been with in the last two worlds. Would they be happy for him if they knew what was happening now, what he would become today?
It had taken a while before he had been able to shift himself from his bed. Given the fact that he'd been up since almost three that morning, it was fine. He took the time to feed the pets, gather his wits, decide not to eat because of nerves, and then he had gathered his clothing. The tux that Ignis had made for him was lovely, hanging on a hanger in their closet, and for all of himself, Nida couldn't get himself to put it on. He was staring at the thing and finding himself unable to bring himself to put it on when the knock came at the apartment door. Nida sighed and moved to it to open the thing.
"Morning Yuki," he greeted the young man who had arrived, in very nice clothing at that. There was Nida, still in his robe. Yeah, he was not ready for today.
"Aren't you supposed to wear... something else?"
Nida sighed as he close the door behind the young man.
"Yeah, I was just getting changed. Do you mind getting Hibiscus into her harness while I do that? I'll handle Julia after."
Ignis had taken Ebony with him the night before, and so Nida was responsible for getting their other pets all packed up and to the event to be watched over by careful eyes. So he left his protege to handle that while he returned to the bedroom to contemplate the suit again.
"Guess I've just never been a fan of tuxes," he called through the half open bedroom door as he considered it again. "I only ever wore formal stuff like this when I was working, and the point was to sorta get lost in the sea of them. They feel... like being fake."
"Fake? So it's your old job stuff?"
There was even now a touch of judgement in his tone that Nida could pick up. He got it. Yuki didn't like the idea of what Nida used to do, and he didn't even know the half of it. But Nida ignored it as he always did. The kid had no clue how much work it was to get away from that life, from what it had represented, from what he had been then. That life had been more real than...
Oh. Of course.
"Yeah, old job stuff."
Nida moved away from the bed and toward the closet, opening it up to look for the one thing that had hung in the back for a while now and hadn't been touched since it had shown up at his door. After a moment of hesitation he pulled it down and spread the material over the bed before fetching out the highly polished boots as well. If Ignis was going to accept him for all of who he was, then he needed to come to his soon to be husband in full honesty. Which meant as he absolutely was, not as he was trying to become. He needed to dress like Nida Nomura to let himself become Nida Scientia.
Back by the bed his fingers ran over the wide belt, and the heavily embroidered shoulder and chest piece of the coat, and the various decorations on the front that served as medals of recognition for his missions and work. His fingers flashed over the metal wings at the collar. This was his status. This was who he was. This was the world he was giving up in his stuggles to belong to Ignis. A few touches to make himself properly rebellious to Garden would work too. The jade bracelet, his mother's bracelet, the touchstones of the people he had loved and lost.
Today he would surrender SeeD Nomura and become Mister Scientia. And that was wonderful.
When he stepped out of the bedroom he looked to Yuki, taking a deep breath and waiting for the young man to judge how he looked. Strange how he cared about the young man's approval or not.
"Well," he said, smoothing down the line of his pants, "think he'll accept me like this? I hope so, because I'm not changing."
Well, he was. But not his clothes. The way he was changing was what really mattered. This, today, this would be surrender. Surrender of the best kind. One that please him for the rest of his life.
"Actually, scratch that. Opinions later. Peacock cat wrangling now. I've got a wedding to get to. And I refuse to be late."
Nida had been shaking ever since he'd awoken that morning. After all the life he'd lived, all the things he'd done, everything he'd been through... Nothing really quite compared to this. Everything before had been, at most, a life or death matter. This? This was just a life thing. A chance at happiness. Full happiness.
Wherever you are out there, are you happy for me?
It was a thought that had come to him when he had awoken alone that morning. It was sent out into the universe as he thought about the brothers and sister he couldn't remember, the parents he hadn't known, and of course the man he had been with in the last two worlds. Would they be happy for him if they knew what was happening now, what he would become today?
It had taken a while before he had been able to shift himself from his bed. Given the fact that he'd been up since almost three that morning, it was fine. He took the time to feed the pets, gather his wits, decide not to eat because of nerves, and then he had gathered his clothing. The tux that Ignis had made for him was lovely, hanging on a hanger in their closet, and for all of himself, Nida couldn't get himself to put it on. He was staring at the thing and finding himself unable to bring himself to put it on when the knock came at the apartment door. Nida sighed and moved to it to open the thing.
"Morning Yuki," he greeted the young man who had arrived, in very nice clothing at that. There was Nida, still in his robe. Yeah, he was not ready for today.
"Aren't you supposed to wear... something else?"
Nida sighed as he close the door behind the young man.
"Yeah, I was just getting changed. Do you mind getting Hibiscus into her harness while I do that? I'll handle Julia after."
Ignis had taken Ebony with him the night before, and so Nida was responsible for getting their other pets all packed up and to the event to be watched over by careful eyes. So he left his protege to handle that while he returned to the bedroom to contemplate the suit again.
"Guess I've just never been a fan of tuxes," he called through the half open bedroom door as he considered it again. "I only ever wore formal stuff like this when I was working, and the point was to sorta get lost in the sea of them. They feel... like being fake."
"Fake? So it's your old job stuff?"
There was even now a touch of judgement in his tone that Nida could pick up. He got it. Yuki didn't like the idea of what Nida used to do, and he didn't even know the half of it. But Nida ignored it as he always did. The kid had no clue how much work it was to get away from that life, from what it had represented, from what he had been then. That life had been more real than...
Oh. Of course.
"Yeah, old job stuff."
Nida moved away from the bed and toward the closet, opening it up to look for the one thing that had hung in the back for a while now and hadn't been touched since it had shown up at his door. After a moment of hesitation he pulled it down and spread the material over the bed before fetching out the highly polished boots as well. If Ignis was going to accept him for all of who he was, then he needed to come to his soon to be husband in full honesty. Which meant as he absolutely was, not as he was trying to become. He needed to dress like Nida Nomura to let himself become Nida Scientia.
Back by the bed his fingers ran over the wide belt, and the heavily embroidered shoulder and chest piece of the coat, and the various decorations on the front that served as medals of recognition for his missions and work. His fingers flashed over the metal wings at the collar. This was his status. This was who he was. This was the world he was giving up in his stuggles to belong to Ignis. A few touches to make himself properly rebellious to Garden would work too. The jade bracelet, his mother's bracelet, the touchstones of the people he had loved and lost.
Today he would surrender SeeD Nomura and become Mister Scientia. And that was wonderful.
When he stepped out of the bedroom he looked to Yuki, taking a deep breath and waiting for the young man to judge how he looked. Strange how he cared about the young man's approval or not.
"Well," he said, smoothing down the line of his pants, "think he'll accept me like this? I hope so, because I'm not changing."
Well, he was. But not his clothes. The way he was changing was what really mattered. This, today, this would be surrender. Surrender of the best kind. One that please him for the rest of his life.
"Actually, scratch that. Opinions later. Peacock cat wrangling now. I've got a wedding to get to. And I refuse to be late."